COMMODORE MEDIA GROUP

What started as a simple misunderstanding quickly escalated into nationwide chaos. On Halloween, a student arrived at Graves County High School in Magnolia Hollow, Mississippi, in what many assumed was just a gory Halloween costume. The freshman, who remains anonymous, was reported by peers as “dragging his body and moaning about brains”—a behavior that seemed part of the act. When confronted by Principal Tiffany Carver about his costume violating the dress code due to the blood, the freshman reportedly bit her arm. In a panic, Dr. Carver demanded that the building be put into lockdown.

Teachers rushed to barricade the doors with tables at the announcement of a dangerous person in the building, throwing students into a panic. Upon hearing that the lockdown was due to a zombie, the teachers assumed the event had been a prank. After having a good laugh about it, Hope Stillwell, the freshman science teacher, took her classroom out of lockdown and resumed teaching. “I thought it was all some Halloween joke,” stated Ms. Stillwell when asked about her experience. “I never thought there was any real danger. Zombies aren’t real.”

After letting the students out for lunch, chaos broke loose. Dr. Carver was reported to be acting strangely by a few students. When the bell rang, she erupted into moaning, groaning, and biting as many people as she could get her hands on, according to an anonymous witness. Before long, nearly the whole school had been infected. Thirty students and eleven staff members were evacuated and taken to safety. Graves County High School was once again put under lockdown in an attempt to contain the outbreak.

Unfortunately, most of Magnolia Hollow has been afflicted with the virus, which is rapidly spreading throughout the state of Mississippi. A few cases of zombies were also reported in South Carolina, Washington, Utah, and New York. This outbreak has been declared a national emergency, and everyone is urged to stay home and prepare to protect themselves—except for breathing students, who are expected to return to school on Monday morning. “We are committed to perfect attendance,” stated Vice Principal Curtis Lane. “Something like this will not affect our goals.”